So there are only 2 more days in the year 2011! It's always such an exciting time. It's like you have permission to officially restart your life. A new year somehow makes you feel less like a failure when the old one ends. I am looking forward to something different. I would like to live each day of 2012 like its a new start to my life; because it truly is. Any day that I get to wake up is a new start that God has so graciously granted me. I need to remember that and enjoy my life warts and all. If I truly believe that God is in control, (and I do); I have to realize that resistance is futile. I am going back to being my laid back self, just letting life do what it's going to do and being grateful for everything that comes. I will no longer allow others to ruffle my feathers or put undo stress on me. SMH Enough already I'm getting of the gerbil's wheel; first because I'm exhausted and second because I don't even have a wheel people keep pulling me onto theirs. Just say no Aiisha, just say no! I am free, free to be whoever God has purposed me to be. No longer will I fight and struggle to find that person. I will allow my footsteps to lead me on this faith walk called my life. I will not allow the opinions of others to convince me that I am more flawed than the next person. As I learn more about the God that I serve I learn more about myself. Loving HIM says that I love ME as I am. If I have learned anything about people it is that you can introduce new information or thoughts to them but you can't force them to live in your personal truth. I will live in the truth that God reveals to me looking forward to growth that HE alone can supply.
Doing things differently in 2012!!
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Monday, December 5, 2011
Epiphany #31
So I woke up this morning with my spirits high. I'm trying to maintain that as a daily plan of action. I want to get back to the place of peace I was once in. I'm really trying to keep my stress levels to a minimum. I find that as I try to pull out of the mainstream people tend to think I'm being influenced by others. What others?? I'm home alone with the Lord and my cats all day. I have been out of work for over a year now and I've decided that God has a really big plan for my life that I have somehow missed. Or perhaps I haven't missed it at all. I have taken the time to really try to take care of me this year. I've started to eat better, exercise and even seek medical care these are things I just didn't have time for any of these things when I was working. I feel better physically than I have in a long while. I've begun to write again not only in this blog either. I still have to find the inner strength to really tackle this clutter it's the last thing that seems to be hanging over me like a dark stormy cloud smh.
I really wish that people could really accept others as they are. As long as how they think, live and feel don't invade or ruin anything around them what's wrong with who they are. I am soooo satisfied with who I am, how I think and how I do things. Do I still have room to grow? Absolutely! Am I in a rush to get there? Nope. Life is to be enjoyed and I just don't enjoy life when I'm rushing around trying to prove or explain myself to others. Why does it bother people that I'm so laid back???? I don't get super excited about a lot somehow that gives people the impression that I need to be motivated. I find this interesting considering how much I get done. I am so not in a rush to fit it all in whatever "it" is. I'm not that inquisitive I don't have a need to know how everything works or how it came to be. I also do not knock those people who have a need to know those things. God created us all according to what His pleasure, need or desire was. How incredibly boring this earth would be if everyone was the same. I am annoyed with someone else's need to change people according to there own ideas of excellence. Such shallow narrow minded thinking, funny thing is these need to know folks don't seem to want to find out why I am the way I am. I guess they are just too busy trying to make me "better" or more like them. It's really a shame because I really am pretty great and happy with sitting on the dock of the bay watching the tide roll away. Again, why is this a bad way to live and/or think? Now don't get me wrong I think we can all learn from each other and I do. I have learned about what makes people do the things they do and sometimes I even think how it might be kinda cool to do some of the things they're doing. (I've even tried somethings, usually not for me.) Seems like I've spent a lot of time defending who I am. I have had a youthful face so it's made it quite difficult to convince folks that I know what I'm talking about. I think that age means a lot to folks and they tend not to give a thought to youthful thinking. I believe everyone has something great to offer at every age. What make anyone think another person has not taken the time to think about themselves? I have lots of questions today. My Mom raised us to be free thinkers and never made us feel as though we weren't able to make things happen. We were taught right and wrong and how to treat one another. Our thoughts were validated. If you have to tear someone down to build them up you are doing too much!!!
I really wish that people could really accept others as they are. As long as how they think, live and feel don't invade or ruin anything around them what's wrong with who they are. I am soooo satisfied with who I am, how I think and how I do things. Do I still have room to grow? Absolutely! Am I in a rush to get there? Nope. Life is to be enjoyed and I just don't enjoy life when I'm rushing around trying to prove or explain myself to others. Why does it bother people that I'm so laid back???? I don't get super excited about a lot somehow that gives people the impression that I need to be motivated. I find this interesting considering how much I get done. I am so not in a rush to fit it all in whatever "it" is. I'm not that inquisitive I don't have a need to know how everything works or how it came to be. I also do not knock those people who have a need to know those things. God created us all according to what His pleasure, need or desire was. How incredibly boring this earth would be if everyone was the same. I am annoyed with someone else's need to change people according to there own ideas of excellence. Such shallow narrow minded thinking, funny thing is these need to know folks don't seem to want to find out why I am the way I am. I guess they are just too busy trying to make me "better" or more like them. It's really a shame because I really am pretty great and happy with sitting on the dock of the bay watching the tide roll away. Again, why is this a bad way to live and/or think? Now don't get me wrong I think we can all learn from each other and I do. I have learned about what makes people do the things they do and sometimes I even think how it might be kinda cool to do some of the things they're doing. (I've even tried somethings, usually not for me.) Seems like I've spent a lot of time defending who I am. I have had a youthful face so it's made it quite difficult to convince folks that I know what I'm talking about. I think that age means a lot to folks and they tend not to give a thought to youthful thinking. I believe everyone has something great to offer at every age. What make anyone think another person has not taken the time to think about themselves? I have lots of questions today. My Mom raised us to be free thinkers and never made us feel as though we weren't able to make things happen. We were taught right and wrong and how to treat one another. Our thoughts were validated. If you have to tear someone down to build them up you are doing too much!!!
Friday, December 2, 2011
Epiphany #30
So I'm trying to write more often it's not that I don't have plenty to say. More like I don't type as fast as my thoughts. I think I'll just ramble on day by day until I hit on something interesting. Oh here's something! So I'm on a new team at church and we've been given an assignment that involves reading/studying to become an effective leader. I'd like to be excited about it yet I find it difficult because when working with a lot of personalities the cause can become clouded. I believe that when you come onto a new project you have to be open minded if you come into it with your own personal agenda it is no longer a "team" effort. It becomes "my" project with my workers creating my vision. Which is usually what happens in a church setting. I think that everyone has at least one good idea and each person should have that one idea heard and if not used in this project recorded and implemented in another.
Off topic: I find that people take silence as a lack of confidence or fortitude. I find that when you observe you learn a lot. When you take you time to make decisions you tend not to have to make them more than once. You also expend less energy. Why is it that people like you "but" they want you to be more like them? I don't have a problem with my personality because I spend time with myself and work on the things that "I" would like to improve upon. NEWSFLASH!! We are not all supposed to be the same...BORING!!
Back to topic: On a team each member is given something to focus on and as they focus on their part they can be pulled in to help another member. I was a power forward on my high school and college teams. I could not win without my team no matter how hard I tried. When the point guard moved up so did I to cover that spot still having my eye on the ball (project goal) and my position at all times. Once every person on the team knows what their position on the team is and what's expected things tend to go smoothly. We'll see I'll keep you posted...
Off topic: I find that people take silence as a lack of confidence or fortitude. I find that when you observe you learn a lot. When you take you time to make decisions you tend not to have to make them more than once. You also expend less energy. Why is it that people like you "but" they want you to be more like them? I don't have a problem with my personality because I spend time with myself and work on the things that "I" would like to improve upon. NEWSFLASH!! We are not all supposed to be the same...BORING!!
Back to topic: On a team each member is given something to focus on and as they focus on their part they can be pulled in to help another member. I was a power forward on my high school and college teams. I could not win without my team no matter how hard I tried. When the point guard moved up so did I to cover that spot still having my eye on the ball (project goal) and my position at all times. Once every person on the team knows what their position on the team is and what's expected things tend to go smoothly. We'll see I'll keep you posted...
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Epiphany #29
God created us individually...
We do not all think or see things exactly alike
Please allow those around you room to expand
Doing so can enlarge your own thoughts and insights
What works for the majority does not always work for everyone
Being different is not wrong it is just different
Be open to different...
Because you have yet to see it does not mean it doesn't exist
Being pliable does not make you weak just easy to work with
I was created as an individual
I embrace my differences
I love who I was created to be
Only God can change me
I do not need to be fixed
I can be enhanced
I am fearfully and wonderfully made
God created us individually...
We do not all think or see things exactly alike
Please allow those around you room to expand
Doing so can enlarge your own thoughts and insights
What works for the majority does not always work for everyone
Being different is not wrong it is just different
Be open to different...
Because you have yet to see it does not mean it doesn't exist
Being pliable does not make you weak just easy to work with
I was created as an individual
I embrace my differences
I love who I was created to be
Only God can change me
I do not need to be fixed
I can be enhanced
I am fearfully and wonderfully made
God created us individually...
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Epiphany #28
Random thoughts
So I have the 1st & hopefully last cold of the season...bummer. I don't get sick that often so I'm not happy :-(
My husband has stepped up and taken pretty good care of me. My Pastor is dropping by with some au natural medicine and I found my heater! I was doing fine until my electric blanket fizzled out -___-
Thanksgiving is next week, personally I give thanks when it's over. The holidays are stressful for me too much going on too much fuss over preparing to be loving. I wish we could live the way we used to; growing up we ate dinner on china with real silverware at a real dining room table. My poor children have grownup with paper and plastic on folding tables. SMH I have deprived my children. It's not to late right? Well I don't know if it is or not but I'd like to try. I should probably start by getting chairs for our dining table.
So I have the 1st & hopefully last cold of the season...bummer. I don't get sick that often so I'm not happy :-(
My husband has stepped up and taken pretty good care of me. My Pastor is dropping by with some au natural medicine and I found my heater! I was doing fine until my electric blanket fizzled out -___-
Thanksgiving is next week, personally I give thanks when it's over. The holidays are stressful for me too much going on too much fuss over preparing to be loving. I wish we could live the way we used to; growing up we ate dinner on china with real silverware at a real dining room table. My poor children have grownup with paper and plastic on folding tables. SMH I have deprived my children. It's not to late right? Well I don't know if it is or not but I'd like to try. I should probably start by getting chairs for our dining table.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Epiphany #27
When you pray asking for things like patience, courage or understanding God doesn't just drop it into your life (lap). He creates an opportunity for you to exercise those abilities. Sometimes the things we are going through we invited. Learn to learn from every situation. Just a thought...
Epiphany #26
So I want..I mean really want to be excited about something, anything.
I want to have that thing that motivates me to do something great.
I have a need to do a "thing" I can feel it deep inside yet I have no idea what "it" is.
I don't care if it brings attention to me as a matter of fact I'd rather it didn't.
I just want to make a difference somewhere and to love doing so.
Here I am waiting for it have I missed it?
Here I am with something to give yet I don't know what it is.
Have I done it already? Did I miss it? Will I know it when it comes?
It's just that it feels like I haven't quite made it there yet
Who am I? Who am I? Whoever that is I want to be the greatest I am that I can be...
Have I touched and changed a life for the better?
Am I hiding from my true self? Probably and I want to shake that off
Although I've been out of work for well over a year. I feel like I have been pulled to my limits.
I'm often sinking in the same spot. I want to be a part of the life that zooms by but I don't want
to get lost in it.
Life was not meant to be a job.
Life should be a joy.
Some of the happenings in life may take some effort but not so hard that you miss the joy of it.
I want to live as if I am in the garden of Eden.
I want to enjoy my time here and to smile from my soul...
If it is too difficult than perhaps it's not for me.
I believe that there is a joy in everything and others seem to believe that if you're happy whilst working than you're not working hard enough; or working at all.
I want to have that thing that motivates me to do something great.
I have a need to do a "thing" I can feel it deep inside yet I have no idea what "it" is.
I don't care if it brings attention to me as a matter of fact I'd rather it didn't.
I just want to make a difference somewhere and to love doing so.
Here I am waiting for it have I missed it?
Here I am with something to give yet I don't know what it is.
Have I done it already? Did I miss it? Will I know it when it comes?
It's just that it feels like I haven't quite made it there yet
Who am I? Who am I? Whoever that is I want to be the greatest I am that I can be...
Have I touched and changed a life for the better?
Am I hiding from my true self? Probably and I want to shake that off
Although I've been out of work for well over a year. I feel like I have been pulled to my limits.
I'm often sinking in the same spot. I want to be a part of the life that zooms by but I don't want
to get lost in it.
Life was not meant to be a job.
Life should be a joy.
Some of the happenings in life may take some effort but not so hard that you miss the joy of it.
I want to live as if I am in the garden of Eden.
I want to enjoy my time here and to smile from my soul...
If it is too difficult than perhaps it's not for me.
I believe that there is a joy in everything and others seem to believe that if you're happy whilst working than you're not working hard enough; or working at all.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Epiphany #25
So I had the best birthday week ever!!! First my Husband and youngest daughter took me out for dinner. Chicken and waffles...Yummy! Then my Mommy bought me a birthday cake (she doesn't bake anymore, in fact she took her stove out several years ago. Long story LOL) it was the best cake ever! My eldest daughter (who is in college B+ student) called with her college mates my children from other parents; and sang me a beautiful rendition of happy birthday. They even re-did it and posted it on facebook upon my request. Loved it!!! Her sister also brought me the prettiest bouquet of green hydrangea's (my favorite flower) the sweetest!! Then on the Sunday following I had to minister for the first time ever at my church. My Mom, Mom in-law and my Husband were there to support me. This was the most nerve racking experience I think that I've ever had. However it was also the most rewarding. After I got through that with God's help of course. My Pastor had everyone bless me with a financial gift. she also bought me a beautiful outfit several other church family members gave gifts and cards. Beautiful!! My Best Friend of over 25 years threw me a real live birthday party right there at the church. Amazing!! She's the best, she gave a tearful speech and had cooked for the whole church (we are small right now about 30 ppl) and bought me another cake, buttercream with green frosting (my favorite flavor and color)!!! I was emotionally drained. I cried, I laughed and I loved each and every person in the room. So grateful!!! Life is so good right now I'm 41 "phat", fit and fabulous!!! WooooHoooo!!!!!!
Friday, September 16, 2011
Epiphany #24
Ok so today didn't quite go as planned. All I ate was a tiny cup of activa yogurt until about 3:30pm. Not smart I'll do better tomorrow. My hips and right ankle are hurting today so I skipped my regular walk and just took a short walk about 10 blocks. I am determined to alleviate this pain naturally. Once I get moving it's pretty easy. It's getting started that seems daunting. Well that's all for now.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Epiphany # 23
So... I went to the doctor only to find out the obvious. I weigh too much LOL. I don't own a scale but since I can't fit most of my clothes I kind of figured it out. I started exercising in June so by the time I went to the doctor I had already lost weight. The number on the scale was a big one so I know I was a lot heavier smh. I am going to continue to exercise even though the weather is about to change. Perhaps I walk a little faster in cooler temps. I've been taking pics trying to track my progress or at least check if there's been any. Once I've lost enough I think I'll be willing to post them. I have changed a lot of what I eat and have tried to incorporate breakfast, lunch and dinner. I'm exercising almost every day. I walk about 40 blocks a day, when I'm not walking I'm taking Zumba classes. I am about to try a morning stretch class and I'm looking into tai chi. Turning 40 is an uphill battle that I plan to win. Forty Fit and Fabulous here I come!!!!!
Monday, August 22, 2011
Epiphany#23
So...I am at yet another cross road. I can either fall into oblivion or be consumed by the possibility that if I hope beyond hope things will eventually work out. I'm leaning toward oblivion it takes far less energy. Who am I kidding I am full of hopes and dreams. Funny how most of my dreams are for other people and other causes, anyone else feel that way? Is it wrong that all of my dreams are for those that I love or at least involve them in some way? Do I have to have these huge outrageous dreams that may never happen? Is there anything wrong with having small ordinary everyday dreams? No, no there is not! I'm good right here living in a big city with my small town dreams. Somebody has to have them that's what keep the world interesting. I really don't want to be like anyone else I think God made me the way he wants me to be. I'm satisfied with that, yup I'm cool. I just have to find my groove when I do the world better look out.
Ta ta for now
Ta ta for now
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Epiphany #23
I am amazed what I have accomplished in just a few days. I began my morning walk/run and have really dug right in. I am pushing myself trying to lose 30lbs in 30days! It's possible. I have kicked my workout into high gear adding extra lap, using a jump rope and a hula hoop. I may add strength training next week, we'll see.
I feel great a lil tired but great none the less. I've cut soda, most juices and dare I say it fried foods out of my diet. (mostly) I'm drinking lots of water and I'm going to pick up some coconut water. (I hear coconut water is like natures Gatorade)'m I'm also eating more veggies, brown rice and I'm hoping to incorporate more fruit. I've been very lazy this past year allowing hard times to dictate how I treat my body. What a no no. I'm all about getting the best out of my life. I'm not really interested in what people have to say about who I am. I'm comfortable with where I am in life. Looking forward to what is coming with a healthy amount of expectation. What does this next leg of my life have in store for me? I pray it's fun and exciting. I don't believe that life needs to so filled with things to do and responsibilities to been worth living. Not when God's original plan was for us to live in the Garden of Eden...paradise. I'm about to embark upon a new job site maybe in a different field.
Loving God, loving life and Loving ME!!!!!
I feel great a lil tired but great none the less. I've cut soda, most juices and dare I say it fried foods out of my diet. (mostly) I'm drinking lots of water and I'm going to pick up some coconut water. (I hear coconut water is like natures Gatorade)'m I'm also eating more veggies, brown rice and I'm hoping to incorporate more fruit. I've been very lazy this past year allowing hard times to dictate how I treat my body. What a no no. I'm all about getting the best out of my life. I'm not really interested in what people have to say about who I am. I'm comfortable with where I am in life. Looking forward to what is coming with a healthy amount of expectation. What does this next leg of my life have in store for me? I pray it's fun and exciting. I don't believe that life needs to so filled with things to do and responsibilities to been worth living. Not when God's original plan was for us to live in the Garden of Eden...paradise. I'm about to embark upon a new job site maybe in a different field.
Loving God, loving life and Loving ME!!!!!
Friday, July 1, 2011
Epiphany #22
So....I've managed to put on a significant amount of weight in the last two years. I know I'm "fat" and have voiced this fact daily for quite sometime. Still somehow my wonderful husband saw fit to point out the fact that I am not my once very slim bodied self of eight years ago. Apparently he is concerned about my health. AAaaawwwwww how sweet : -/
My doctor has no new health concerns for me since I gained the weight. (great!) I am personally uncomfortable with the weight and need to put a little more effort into my "workout" which consists of the hula hoop and lots of meditation. ( I'm contemplating exercising.) So today I am committing to getting fit! I will get up early Tuesday morning and get to stepping. An early morning walk and no more soda. I might just cut the sugar completely. Whoa sistah take your time... ease your way into this. I will loose 20lbs by september.
I've got a gut, butt, thunder thighs, double chin and flabby arms too. Having a sale "EVERYTHING MUST GO!!!!!" I am giving the stuff away.
I can do all things through Christ Jesus...
...and this too shall pass.
I have the Victory!
I will keep you posted.
I need a scale I don't even know what I weigh. How will I know if I loose the 20lbs?? LOL Gotta get a scale.
My doctor has no new health concerns for me since I gained the weight. (great!) I am personally uncomfortable with the weight and need to put a little more effort into my "workout" which consists of the hula hoop and lots of meditation. ( I'm contemplating exercising.) So today I am committing to getting fit! I will get up early Tuesday morning and get to stepping. An early morning walk and no more soda. I might just cut the sugar completely. Whoa sistah take your time... ease your way into this. I will loose 20lbs by september.
I've got a gut, butt, thunder thighs, double chin and flabby arms too. Having a sale "EVERYTHING MUST GO!!!!!" I am giving the stuff away.
I can do all things through Christ Jesus...
...and this too shall pass.
I have the Victory!
I will keep you posted.
I need a scale I don't even know what I weigh. How will I know if I loose the 20lbs?? LOL Gotta get a scale.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Epiphany #21
I'm trying to reinvent myself by the end of August. Or at least my thought patterns regarding changing the direction of my life. I would like to love what I do & get paid to do it. I know it's possible people are doing it everyday. I want to wake up smiling again not just because I'm happy to have lived another day but because I've lived to see another day that will also bring me joy. I want to look success in the face & beat it. I will conquer the fear that success conjures up.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Epiphany #20
Soooo, this is not really an "aha" moment. More like the thoughts that come before that moment takes place. I'm so bored with myself yet don't know what my next move is. Lots of people talk about "passion". What is this "Passion" they speak of?? Would someone please clue me in? I mean I've never been very passionate about much of anything. I appreciate fairness so I'm always up to protect the innocent or the so called underdog but am I really passionate? I like to be crafty and I'm pretty good too. I write poetry and I'm good at that also. Where's the "passion" though? I'm not quite sure what would drive me to push forward in those areas. OOOooooh right, passion. (sigh)
Looking for passion...yup that's what I'm doing searching myself for passion. That's me, hoping to be excited about something. I do love being fabulous. I haven't been my fabulous self in several months. I think Kimora Lee has the whole "fabulosity" thing covered though. I have been so caught up in my own mind that I've convinced myself that I haven't been very good at anything in my 40 years of life. Now that can't really be true...that would be just sad and laughable. I want to make a difference somewhere. I know I'm pretty good at cheering people up and changing their outlook about life (go figure, physician heal thyself). How do I make that a movement for myself? Hmmmmm?
I know I definitely would like to be heard. I would like people to appreciate my thoughts. Moving people with words is very important. Words can move like the wind, they can be as expressive as a contemporary dance. Words can shake your soul. Perhaps I need to get out a little more be around folks more often. I've been told I'm a people person, funny thing is I enjoy my own company most of all. People have a way of being rather irritating and judgmental without even realizing it. They mean well yet they rarely step into the hearts of others, tunnel vision is prevalent. I can feel the energy of others, which is not always a good thing. So until next time....I'm off to find my passion!!!!! Wish me luck. I'm trying to remain optimistic
Looking for passion...yup that's what I'm doing searching myself for passion. That's me, hoping to be excited about something. I do love being fabulous. I haven't been my fabulous self in several months. I think Kimora Lee has the whole "fabulosity" thing covered though. I have been so caught up in my own mind that I've convinced myself that I haven't been very good at anything in my 40 years of life. Now that can't really be true...that would be just sad and laughable. I want to make a difference somewhere. I know I'm pretty good at cheering people up and changing their outlook about life (go figure, physician heal thyself). How do I make that a movement for myself? Hmmmmm?
I know I definitely would like to be heard. I would like people to appreciate my thoughts. Moving people with words is very important. Words can move like the wind, they can be as expressive as a contemporary dance. Words can shake your soul. Perhaps I need to get out a little more be around folks more often. I've been told I'm a people person, funny thing is I enjoy my own company most of all. People have a way of being rather irritating and judgmental without even realizing it. They mean well yet they rarely step into the hearts of others, tunnel vision is prevalent. I can feel the energy of others, which is not always a good thing. So until next time....I'm off to find my passion!!!!! Wish me luck. I'm trying to remain optimistic
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Epiphany #19
Ever just want the world to stop so you could get off?
I'd like to just be still without the judgement of the world on my shoulders
without having the label of "depression" floating above my head
I would like to sit in a field of stillness and just listen...
I would like to truly hear the whispers of destiny in the hushed sound of a whisper.
Not screaming at me to move, move, move!!!!
I'm okay with watching the leaves in the trees blow softly in the wind
I'm okay with watching my girls turn into young women with minds of their own
and painfully watching them make their own decisions that sometimes lead to disaster.
More often leading them into a greater destiny.
So forgive me I apologize for making a U-turn in the middle of fast moving traffic but
I'm getting off here.
Stop the world I want to get off!!!!!!
Friday, May 27, 2011
Epiphany #18
never said I was the best at being a friend. I'm a pretty good confidante though. never said I wouldn't disappear sometimes just that you could always find me when you really need me. never said I would never change just that we could change together. never said there would never be renovations just that the foundation was strong. never said I'd invite you in just that you were welcome to come over. never said I wasn't complicated just that I was worth knowing.
Never said a lot of things and you never asked
Epiphany #17
Will the real you please stand up?
Do you even know the real you?
Let me reintroduce you.
You meet You.
Self meet Self.
Your reflection is a faded image of the real you.
Your shadow is the dark parts of you.
Step away from your shadow and turn your back on your reflection.
You are good enough all by yourself...
Will the real you please stand up?
... hey you, nice to meet you.
Do you even know the real you?
Let me reintroduce you.
You meet You.
Self meet Self.
Your reflection is a faded image of the real you.
Your shadow is the dark parts of you.
Step away from your shadow and turn your back on your reflection.
You are good enough all by yourself...
Will the real you please stand up?
... hey you, nice to meet you.
Epiphany #16
"I AM WORTHY!" I am worthy of all that God has in store for me. I am worthy of all the blessings, mercy and grace He has bestowed upon me. I am worthy of JOY, LIGHT and LOVE!!! I am worthy to be hugged by my children. I am worthy to be loved by my husband the way I need to be loved. I am worthy of the purpose which lies within me. I am worthy of the compliments I receive and can say "thank you so much..." without guilt. I am worthy of the dress I bought myself that was way more than I usually spend. I am worthy because God said I am wonderfully made. I am worthy because I was made by The God of the Universe. No longer will I doubt the Mind of God. HE has made me and I am worthy of God's Love for me and towards me. HE has given His son that I might live therefore I, Am Worthy. i am worthy, I am worthy, I Am worthy, I Am Worthy, I Am WORTHY!!!!!
It started as a whisper deep in my spirit, now it has become a roar. A tornado of God's validation. A whirlwind of His confirmation. Wooshing through the caverns of my mind and echoing deep within the foundation of my very being. You should be able to feel the vibrations of my realization of who I truly am..
I AM WORTHY!!!!!
It started as a whisper deep in my spirit, now it has become a roar. A tornado of God's validation. A whirlwind of His confirmation. Wooshing through the caverns of my mind and echoing deep within the foundation of my very being. You should be able to feel the vibrations of my realization of who I truly am..
I AM WORTHY!!!!!
Friday, March 11, 2011
Epiphany #15
People in your life only know the parts of you that you reveal to them.
It's only when they go the extra mile that they discover that there is more to you than that.
Can I really be saddened by the fact that my fear of full disclosure has left me alone in a crowd?
Because I am hidden in full view I know what shadows in the sunlight look like. I know when someone is standing in the sun under an invisible umbrella. I know that I need to reach beyond the parts that they reveal & softly, gently touch their soul. I know why the caged bird sings because I sing the song Louder than the next..I want to unlock the cage door and leave it wide open so they can come and go. I want to set them free from the cage they built to protect themselves from everything. I don't want to stand in a crowd of lonely people hiding who they are or want to be. I'm sad and happy at the same time. Is that even a reality? I'm happy because I know that my life is really a good one. I'm sad because even though my life is good it should be great. I don't know how to get to the greatness...isn't that sad.
Can I really be saddened by the fact that my fear of full disclosure has left me alone in a crowd? Sadly...yes
It's only when they go the extra mile that they discover that there is more to you than that.
Can I really be saddened by the fact that my fear of full disclosure has left me alone in a crowd?
Because I am hidden in full view I know what shadows in the sunlight look like. I know when someone is standing in the sun under an invisible umbrella. I know that I need to reach beyond the parts that they reveal & softly, gently touch their soul. I know why the caged bird sings because I sing the song Louder than the next..I want to unlock the cage door and leave it wide open so they can come and go. I want to set them free from the cage they built to protect themselves from everything. I don't want to stand in a crowd of lonely people hiding who they are or want to be. I'm sad and happy at the same time. Is that even a reality? I'm happy because I know that my life is really a good one. I'm sad because even though my life is good it should be great. I don't know how to get to the greatness...isn't that sad.
Can I really be saddened by the fact that my fear of full disclosure has left me alone in a crowd? Sadly...yes
Friday, February 18, 2011
Epiphany #14
You can't do anything properly without rest. You have to rest in order to conquer tomorrow.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Epiphany #13
Why can we go to school, learn and believe? Why are life lessons so hard to grasp? Each have teachers who give us the answers yet "LIFE" lessons are much harder to learn. I don't know about you but I'm trying to be an "A" student when it comes to life and the teacher's pet too!!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Epiphany #12
There will be times when my involvement in God's plan for my life...
will not be necessary :-/
will not be necessary :-/
Epiphany #11
God may say no to some things but in the no there is always a Big Yes!
Yes I still love you
Yes I will keep you from making a mess
Yes I will keep you safe
Yes I know better
Yes the best is yet to come!!!
Thank God for the no's cause they are always followed by a Bigger Yes!!!!!!
Yes I still love you
Yes I will keep you from making a mess
Yes I will keep you safe
Yes I know better
Yes the best is yet to come!!!
Thank God for the no's cause they are always followed by a Bigger Yes!!!!!!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Epiphany #10
Negative feelings about yesterday stain our memories. If our yesterday's were miserable does that mean we've wasted our today's? If each day is a gift then life lived good or bad is never wasted. Living for today says " I can do better then my yesterday's". There would be no real joy without the sweet sting of pain. We only mourn our yesterday's when we did not fully embrace and LOVE our today's....
Epiphany #9
Life never happens the same way twice...
There are similarities and feelings that make you remember the pain of the past.
If your blessed, streams of joy flash by too. So why live in fear of the unknown?
God never promised us tomorrow's, just that he would help us live through the today's.
Funny how we beg God to forgive us yet we turn our backs on forgiving ourselves.
So perhaps my prayer should be "Lord help me to forgive myself so today won't feel like
yesterday". Lost floods of love wash me today.
There are similarities and feelings that make you remember the pain of the past.
If your blessed, streams of joy flash by too. So why live in fear of the unknown?
God never promised us tomorrow's, just that he would help us live through the today's.
Funny how we beg God to forgive us yet we turn our backs on forgiving ourselves.
So perhaps my prayer should be "Lord help me to forgive myself so today won't feel like
yesterday". Lost floods of love wash me today.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
The Silence
You put up walls all around you...no buildings
Silence so still it makes my ear drums swell as if I were swimming in the depths of the sea.
If I sleep will I wake up? Or will the silence smother me, will I drown in the waves of your anguish?
Why do you punish me so?
You have rejected me and in my defense I have rejected you... the cycle is never ending.
The silence is always there pushing the sounds of conversation out
pushing the sounds of love away
pushing the beats of life to the edge of oblivion
pushing the very air that we breathe
The silence is like a noxious gas that fills every crevice...
It says to me "Keep Out!"
I am speaking to you but you can not hear me...The silence is there
I am listening to you but I can not hear you... The silence is there
We are YELLING but there is no understanding...The silence is there
I would sleep but I am sleepless worried about The silence that is silently choking the life from my flesh
seeping into my soul. What a painful slow torture chamber this has become for us.
Take down the walls of the buildings that you built.
Let the silence move with the winds blowing to another place and time.
Free us from the death of silence and the tombstone that will read
"Here lies them that loved loudly but could not hear each other because of ...The Silence."
Author
Hershee (Sistah England)
Silence so still it makes my ear drums swell as if I were swimming in the depths of the sea.
If I sleep will I wake up? Or will the silence smother me, will I drown in the waves of your anguish?
Why do you punish me so?
You have rejected me and in my defense I have rejected you... the cycle is never ending.
The silence is always there pushing the sounds of conversation out
pushing the sounds of love away
pushing the beats of life to the edge of oblivion
pushing the very air that we breathe
The silence is like a noxious gas that fills every crevice...
It says to me "Keep Out!"
I am speaking to you but you can not hear me...The silence is there
I am listening to you but I can not hear you... The silence is there
We are YELLING but there is no understanding...The silence is there
I would sleep but I am sleepless worried about The silence that is silently choking the life from my flesh
seeping into my soul. What a painful slow torture chamber this has become for us.
Take down the walls of the buildings that you built.
Let the silence move with the winds blowing to another place and time.
Free us from the death of silence and the tombstone that will read
"Here lies them that loved loudly but could not hear each other because of ...The Silence."
Author
Hershee (Sistah England)
Epiphany #8
Hmmmm are you really listening?? Sometimes.., no most of the time we need to "listen" to the whole conversation. Listening to why a person says what they are saying is as important as what they are saying. The people whom we love are usually not out to hurt us. Lay aside your emotions just for a moment and really "listen" to why & what they are truly trying to get you to hear. How on earth did they even come to this place? That's the why. The truth is usually pretty uncomfortable...that's the what (that needs to be said). Take a few moments and just listen... It's okay you'll be pleased and closer to the one's you love.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Epiphany #7
Time stands still for no one. Therefore life is not to be wasted on anyone who does not have good intentions. Why spread the evils of the world to those who mean to be happy? Spread your misery amongst yourselves and live as you will. The rest of us will happily live outside of your dark circle gliding on the sands of time....
Friday, January 14, 2011
Epiphany #6
Crying can cleanse your soul...Boohooing is like a tsunami it can wipe you out! Water symbolizes cleansing and new life to come. So go ahead and cry wash away the bad energy. Dry your eyes and breathe a sigh of relief. Wait for the seedlings to bud with fresh opportunities. It won't be long before your on a better path. Crying is GOOD!!! Boohooing may be a little over the top. Have a great day!!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Epiphany #5
Well It's a new year people. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! Let's try to take this go get 'em attitude with us throughout the "entire" 365 days...shall we???
Past hurts that you pretend to forget never heal. They get infected ans spread from the past to the present into your future. Chase after your healing "free your mind and the rest will follow" (En Vouge). Do yourself a favor and forgive the offense. Chances are the person you're upset with is clueless & sleeping through the night. It's the perfect time to release yourself from the prison of longtime despair. Be HAPPY!!!
Past hurts that you pretend to forget never heal. They get infected ans spread from the past to the present into your future. Chase after your healing "free your mind and the rest will follow" (En Vouge). Do yourself a favor and forgive the offense. Chances are the person you're upset with is clueless & sleeping through the night. It's the perfect time to release yourself from the prison of longtime despair. Be HAPPY!!!
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